Grace's Tragedy- Thoughts on Last Night's Episode of The Secret Life of the American Teenager

Last week's episode of The Secret Life of the American Teenager showed Grace's tragedy of where she decided to have sex against her father's wishes and her father was later killed in a plane crash with this issue unresolved. Last night's episode showed Grace in a depressed and angry manner towards everyone, but especially toward herself. She blamed herself for her father's death and believes this was the punishment from God for having sex before marriage.

This is very normal that when something bad occurs following a major sin in our life that we naturally blame ourselves for the grievous circumstances that has occurred and think it is a punishment from God. Last week we discussed that God is love but this does not mean he condones premarital sex or sin of any kind when his word says otherwise. This week's episode put major emphasis on the fact that Grace felt her father's death was a punishment from God for her sin. So this will be what I focus on today. Does God punish us for sin in this way? Does he take loved ones away from us when we commit sexual sin or sin of any kind?

The answer is no. When it is someone's time to die, it is their time to die no matter what is going on with us personally. The sin that Grace committed was between God and her. What does scripture say about this particular situation between Grace and her dad on the show? The word of God commands us in Exodus 20:12, "Honor your father and mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you." Grace did not honor her parent's wishes to wait about having sex, but chose to live a life in the flesh. The word of God also says in I Timothy 4:12 : "Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity." For as Christians, we are called to live a life in the spirit. One of the fruits of the spirit is self-control. Therefore, we are to exercise self-control in our relationships through the power of the spirit.. Remember that sex can be all about lust or it can be done in the confines of marriage where there is God ordained love and commitment to God and your spouse. There is no shame in marital love and the act of marriage- sexual intimacy. One last thing I want to stress. Where does Grace go from here? She goes to her father in heaven on her knees and prays and asks forgiveness and re-commits her life to him and chooses to not have sex until marriage. As Christians we are to live the faith for Jesus- so stand firm and live life abundantly.

1 John 1:9 says "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."

Teen Icon- Legend- From Triumph to Tragedy- My Conflict

King of Pop, Michael Jackson dies at age 50. These were the headlines last Thursday and Friday that saddened not only me but the world. However,I do not think it was so much of a shock at least not for me. This event and passing of a great legend and entertainer was so similar to the King of Rock, Elvis Presley. I was a child of the 70's and a teenager of the 80's. When I was six, I remember exactly where I was when Elvis was announced as having overdosed on prescription drugs and died. I was so sad and even cried and though I did not really understand what had happened and why, I knew something very tragic had occurred. We lost someone who could have been so much more in his life even with all that he had already accomplished in life. I often wondered what all Elvis would have accomplished if he had remained healthy and stable in his life. I loved Elvis Presley- his music, his dance- they brought joy to my soul even as a young girl. This was the same feeling I had when I listened to the Jackson Five sing, dance and perform for the nation and world. They were amazing. My heart would sing and dance within me whenever I heard them sing and still does when I hear their music. Michael was different, special and extremely talented. In many ways, more talented musically and rhythmically than even Elvis. Again, we lost someone who could have been so much more even with all he had already accomplished.

As I watched Micheal's life change, in physical appearance it hurt me deep within for him. He suffered from a condition that caused his skin to look paler, but he also suffered from anorexia which also changed his facial appearance and shape. In effort to make things better he tried plastic surgery which made things much worse. I believe these outward changes caused deep emotional distress to him. He also suffered from mental anguish and torment from his childhood in the way his father abused and disciplined him. There is no wonder he seemed to be a "freak" to so many. I believe Michael even felt as though he was a freak too. But what hits me deep within as a Christian is that he was not settled on any one religion, he went from Jehovah Witnesses to possibly Islam and Kabbalah. Jesus stated in John 14:6 : "I am the way, the Truth and the life." For Michael, this is probably the most tragic part of his life- because he was searching for healing, love, peace, and joy. This can only be attained by having a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and being a follower of Christ. Over the last couple of days as I have pondered and thought about Michael Jackson's life, God has laid the rich young man's story on my heart discussed in the book of Matthew in the Bible.

Matthew 19:13-24
"Now a man came up to Jesus and asked, "Teacher, what good thing must I do to get eternal life?" "Why do you ask me about what is good?" Jesus replied. "There is only One who is good. If you want to enter life, obey the commandments." Which ones?, the man inquired. Jesus replied, "'Do not murder, do not commit adultery, do not steal, do not give false testimony, honor your father and mother,' and 'love your neighbor as yourself.'" "All these I have kept," the young man said. "What do I still lack?" Jesus answered, "If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me." When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth. Then Jesus said to his disciples, "I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God."

In summary, Michael had it all according to the world's standards. Fame and wealth. Although he was a very giving person, he was materialistic. What is even more unbelievable is that he was $400 million in debt and spent $30 million dollars monthly for his expenses. Shocking and unbelievable. He is a product of Hollywood and childhood fame. This type of life and world is very deceiving because it did not give him the healing, peace, and comfort he desired. Based on the information out there, it did not appear that Michael knew Jesus Christ. I wonder how his life would have been different if he would have had a personal relationship with the King of the Universe- the Messsiah- Jesus Christ. Would he have sold everything to follow Jesus? Would you sell everything to follow Jesus? I challenge fellow Christians as well as myself to make a difference in the lives of others by living the faith for Jesus and taking up our cross daily. I challenge the Christian community to pray for Hollywood writers, entertainers, actors/ actresses, comedians, singers/songwriters and famous atheletes to come to know, to follow and live for Jesus before it is too late.

Another Bible-quoting Social Conservative Falls Again

South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford announced in a tearful, rambling apology that he has been involved in an extra-marital affair yesterday to news organizations. Governor Sanford had been asked to leave his home by his wife two weeks ago when she learned of the affair. Following his separation from his wife, he left on a secret trip, to reconnect with his mistress in Argentina. Apparently he has counseled his mistress beginning eight years ago because she was having marital problems, encouraging her to re-unite with her husband for her two kids sake. He said this all happened "innocently", but then kicked it into high gear with an extra-marital affair a year ago, having two other rendezvous' before this most recent one.

The Washington Post, characterized the governor as "a bible-quoting social conservative." This is disappointment to say the least because we have someone who is suppose to be an solid Christian who has allowed himself to get involved in adultery and it has been publicized nationally. Another Christian role model falls again. Not only did he commit this embarrassing act of adultery but the way he went about confessing to his state, fellow statemens and the nation did not show he him in a good light either. When will political officials, entertainers, athletes start living up to their responsibility to be strong role models for their families, children and the community and nation in which they live? When will Christians who are in the public eye, begin to live out what they preach? Fox news reported that he and his wife would be trying to restore their marriage. This is a good start, but should not be just for the kids sake. It should be because they made a commitment to God and one another. Again, I challenge Christian representatives: politicians, movies stars, entertainers, athletes to live the word of God in their lives daily. Live the Faith for Jesus, yourselves and the people who mentor and love you.

More Thoughts on The Secret Life of the American Teenager

As I was watching the season premiere on The Secrets of the American Teenager, I was disappointed to learn that Molly Ringwald's character, Ann was pregnant. She is the mother of Amy on the show who was pregnant last season and is now taking care of her infant son. The father, George, was supportive of Ann although he is not the father for the baby. This was a huge blow to Amy, who had beat herself up over her own mistake and will never be the same in regards to her own mistake. George told Amy he needed to love her mom and support her mistake because apparently their family makes a lot of mistakes.

I agree that when our loved ones make mistakes that we should be supportive and loving to them. However, we should also address why these mistakes happened and try to not make them again. We should be always learning and trying to become better in this life. The question Amy and probably every teenager is asking who watches the show is, is there a double standard for adults? Teens are suppose to wait until marriage, but are their parents who are single and divorced suppose to wait and live by the same rules? The answers are "No" there should not be a double standard and "Yes" adults should be living by the same rules of dating. They should be the teens examples and role models to dating. However, our culture says otherwise. We are inundated with wrong messages like this one on television and in the movies, but also in real life with our culture. Unfortunately, adults and parents are the wrong roles models most of the time to their kids.

Let's briefly discuss the standards that are appropriate for not only teens but for their parents and for adults period. Sexual intimacy should not be a part of the dating process this is a gift you give to you spouse reserved for marriage and given to them on the day of your wedding. The dating standards involve going on dates that would not place yourself in an sexually intimate position. Make it clear from the beginning that there will be boundaries and discuss them prior to the first date or on the first date in a setting that would be safe and comfortable. Have friends and family meet your dates. In regards to the boundaries you set as a couple, make sure you follow the plan and have a friend hold you accountable. Allow yourself to be held accountable to questions following your dates and be honest with them and your self.

Using Molly Ringwald's character as a classic example of mistakes women and men make in relationships, I want to point out what not to do on your dates. First, she had sex on the first date. What is wrong with this picture? This is a huge mistake for laying a strong foundation to the relationship. You want a relationship that begins with mutual respect, friendship and companionship. You do not want a relationship that only involves sex because it is about lust and not love. The initial dates are about learning to communicate with one another to establish whether you are compatible with one another. If you relationship is based solely on sex you will not clearly know whether he or she is right for you. Ann also was not even divorced yet, and she is having sex with someone she really did not know at all. She opened the door to possibly contracting a sexually transmitted disease and she eventually gets pregnant due to having unprotected sex. This gives confusing message and example to her children. She does not appear to be a strong role model at all. I have 10 healthy dating tips for people who are single whether they have been married or not. They are detailed on the side of my blog. All of these things are important to think about and I sincerely hope whether you are a Christian or Non-Christian you will put some deep thought and action to things I have written about today. Lastly, I challenge you to Live the Faith For Jesus by living the word of God daily whether you are a teen or an adult!!!!

Psalm 37: 3-4
"Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart."

Commentary on Season Premiere of ABC Family's The Secret Life of the American Teenager

In the season opener of The Secret Life of the American teenager, it seems that just about every one on the show is having sex especially the teenagers. Grace and Jack, who are the shows Christians, decide to have sex on last night's show. Sadly, she was at odds with her dad, who is played by acclaimed actor, John Schneider,who was killed off the show in a plane crash last night. Leaving Grace paralyzed in deep sorrow for being at odds with her dad and having made the decision he so desperately tried to get her not to make. Apparently, they had been debating openly why Grace should not have premarital sex and she tells her parents her intent that she no longer wants to wait until marriage to have sex. Even the teenage sex-vene, Adrian expressed boldly that Grace should not have sex with Jack because she was not emotionally prepared for what she would experience. Adrian even went to Grace's home to try to stop them. However, Grace was determined to have sex. She said she prayed about it, she was a committed Christian in a committed relationship and since "God is love" she felt that God would have absolutely no problem with her decision to be with Jack since she felt he was "The One." Adrian stated that Jack was like any other guy and this would not stop him from being with other girls. She also stated what a great role model Grace had been for girls who did not have premarital sex and she hated for her to lose the treasure of her virginity and innocence. My first thought was "Do Christian Teenager's truly think the way Grace did?" The answer unfortunately is a large percentage of the teenage population has flawed logic when it comes to why it is alright to have premarital sex and this does not exclude the Christian teenage population. Why? Many Christians are not firmly grounded in the Word of God and as a result they become confused by the world standards which says that if you are in a committed relationship and are in love that it is alright to have premarital sex. Teenagers and adults here in America are inundated with wrong messages they see on the internet, on television and in movies from Hollywood. It is imperative to read and know what the Word of God says on the subject of premarital sex and other sexually immoral sins. I will give the show credit, because they had all of the teenagers of the show come on after last night's episode to discuss the seriousness of having sex and that they needed to be prepared and did not have to follow the crowd in having it. But let's discuss why Grace's reasoning was flawed. First, she said she prayed and felt God was "absolutely" good with her decision to be with Jack. The Word of God never says that premarital sex is O.K therefore God would not and is not alright with teenagers and singles having premarital sex. The Bible is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. Therefore, I cannot stress the importance of teens and single adults (never married/ separated/ divorced) knowing what the Word of God says on the subject of premarital sex. In 1 Corinthians 6:18 the Word of God states: "Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body." What is sexual immorality in God's eyes?

According to FaithForum.org: The New American Standard New Testament Greek Lexicon transliterates the word "porneia" and defines it as:

1. illicit sexual intercourse
a. adultery, fornication, homosexuality, lesbianism, intercourse with animals etc.
b. sexual intercourse with close relatives; Lev. 18
c. sexual intercourse with a divorced man or woman; Mk. 10:11

Going back to the flaws of Grace's justification to having premarital sex, she was curious, she felt everyone was doing it, her best friend Adrian had done it, and she felt she would be with Jack forever. None of these justifications are reasons to have sex, it simply does not line up with the Word of God. My challenge to the teens and single adults out there is to Live by Faith for Jesus. I give the same challenge to today's Christians. You have the option to be a "Casual Christian" who does not live the Word of God or a "Captive Christian" who is Christ Centered and lives the Word of God daily. Read the word and know what it says and then live it for Christ and yourself. Grace said she prayed and felt God felt good with her decision. However, the way to know how God feels on issues like premarital sex is through reading the Word of God because the Word of God is inspired by God and is God- breathed. You cannot go wrong with doing things God's Way. Take the Challenge- Live the Faith for Jesus!