More Thoughts on The Secret Life of the American Teenager

As I was watching the season premiere on The Secrets of the American Teenager, I was disappointed to learn that Molly Ringwald's character, Ann was pregnant. She is the mother of Amy on the show who was pregnant last season and is now taking care of her infant son. The father, George, was supportive of Ann although he is not the father for the baby. This was a huge blow to Amy, who had beat herself up over her own mistake and will never be the same in regards to her own mistake. George told Amy he needed to love her mom and support her mistake because apparently their family makes a lot of mistakes.

I agree that when our loved ones make mistakes that we should be supportive and loving to them. However, we should also address why these mistakes happened and try to not make them again. We should be always learning and trying to become better in this life. The question Amy and probably every teenager is asking who watches the show is, is there a double standard for adults? Teens are suppose to wait until marriage, but are their parents who are single and divorced suppose to wait and live by the same rules? The answers are "No" there should not be a double standard and "Yes" adults should be living by the same rules of dating. They should be the teens examples and role models to dating. However, our culture says otherwise. We are inundated with wrong messages like this one on television and in the movies, but also in real life with our culture. Unfortunately, adults and parents are the wrong roles models most of the time to their kids.

Let's briefly discuss the standards that are appropriate for not only teens but for their parents and for adults period. Sexual intimacy should not be a part of the dating process this is a gift you give to you spouse reserved for marriage and given to them on the day of your wedding. The dating standards involve going on dates that would not place yourself in an sexually intimate position. Make it clear from the beginning that there will be boundaries and discuss them prior to the first date or on the first date in a setting that would be safe and comfortable. Have friends and family meet your dates. In regards to the boundaries you set as a couple, make sure you follow the plan and have a friend hold you accountable. Allow yourself to be held accountable to questions following your dates and be honest with them and your self.

Using Molly Ringwald's character as a classic example of mistakes women and men make in relationships, I want to point out what not to do on your dates. First, she had sex on the first date. What is wrong with this picture? This is a huge mistake for laying a strong foundation to the relationship. You want a relationship that begins with mutual respect, friendship and companionship. You do not want a relationship that only involves sex because it is about lust and not love. The initial dates are about learning to communicate with one another to establish whether you are compatible with one another. If you relationship is based solely on sex you will not clearly know whether he or she is right for you. Ann also was not even divorced yet, and she is having sex with someone she really did not know at all. She opened the door to possibly contracting a sexually transmitted disease and she eventually gets pregnant due to having unprotected sex. This gives confusing message and example to her children. She does not appear to be a strong role model at all. I have 10 healthy dating tips for people who are single whether they have been married or not. They are detailed on the side of my blog. All of these things are important to think about and I sincerely hope whether you are a Christian or Non-Christian you will put some deep thought and action to things I have written about today. Lastly, I challenge you to Live the Faith For Jesus by living the word of God daily whether you are a teen or an adult!!!!

Psalm 37: 3-4
"Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart."

Commentary on Season Premiere of ABC Family's The Secret Life of the American Teenager

In the season opener of The Secret Life of the American teenager, it seems that just about every one on the show is having sex especially the teenagers. Grace and Jack, who are the shows Christians, decide to have sex on last night's show. Sadly, she was at odds with her dad, who is played by acclaimed actor, John Schneider,who was killed off the show in a plane crash last night. Leaving Grace paralyzed in deep sorrow for being at odds with her dad and having made the decision he so desperately tried to get her not to make. Apparently, they had been debating openly why Grace should not have premarital sex and she tells her parents her intent that she no longer wants to wait until marriage to have sex. Even the teenage sex-vene, Adrian expressed boldly that Grace should not have sex with Jack because she was not emotionally prepared for what she would experience. Adrian even went to Grace's home to try to stop them. However, Grace was determined to have sex. She said she prayed about it, she was a committed Christian in a committed relationship and since "God is love" she felt that God would have absolutely no problem with her decision to be with Jack since she felt he was "The One." Adrian stated that Jack was like any other guy and this would not stop him from being with other girls. She also stated what a great role model Grace had been for girls who did not have premarital sex and she hated for her to lose the treasure of her virginity and innocence. My first thought was "Do Christian Teenager's truly think the way Grace did?" The answer unfortunately is a large percentage of the teenage population has flawed logic when it comes to why it is alright to have premarital sex and this does not exclude the Christian teenage population. Why? Many Christians are not firmly grounded in the Word of God and as a result they become confused by the world standards which says that if you are in a committed relationship and are in love that it is alright to have premarital sex. Teenagers and adults here in America are inundated with wrong messages they see on the internet, on television and in movies from Hollywood. It is imperative to read and know what the Word of God says on the subject of premarital sex and other sexually immoral sins. I will give the show credit, because they had all of the teenagers of the show come on after last night's episode to discuss the seriousness of having sex and that they needed to be prepared and did not have to follow the crowd in having it. But let's discuss why Grace's reasoning was flawed. First, she said she prayed and felt God was "absolutely" good with her decision to be with Jack. The Word of God never says that premarital sex is O.K therefore God would not and is not alright with teenagers and singles having premarital sex. The Bible is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. Therefore, I cannot stress the importance of teens and single adults (never married/ separated/ divorced) knowing what the Word of God says on the subject of premarital sex. In 1 Corinthians 6:18 the Word of God states: "Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body." What is sexual immorality in God's eyes?

According to FaithForum.org: The New American Standard New Testament Greek Lexicon transliterates the word "porneia" and defines it as:

1. illicit sexual intercourse
a. adultery, fornication, homosexuality, lesbianism, intercourse with animals etc.
b. sexual intercourse with close relatives; Lev. 18
c. sexual intercourse with a divorced man or woman; Mk. 10:11

Going back to the flaws of Grace's justification to having premarital sex, she was curious, she felt everyone was doing it, her best friend Adrian had done it, and she felt she would be with Jack forever. None of these justifications are reasons to have sex, it simply does not line up with the Word of God. My challenge to the teens and single adults out there is to Live by Faith for Jesus. I give the same challenge to today's Christians. You have the option to be a "Casual Christian" who does not live the Word of God or a "Captive Christian" who is Christ Centered and lives the Word of God daily. Read the word and know what it says and then live it for Christ and yourself. Grace said she prayed and felt God felt good with her decision. However, the way to know how God feels on issues like premarital sex is through reading the Word of God because the Word of God is inspired by God and is God- breathed. You cannot go wrong with doing things God's Way. Take the Challenge- Live the Faith for Jesus!